Boy do I love this time of year. A time when people get drunk and do dumb things with no regard. Having said that: here is a video I uploaded of my coworker's holiday celebration!

5 Ways to Become Unbored at Work

I'm fortunate. I do not take things for granted. Having said that, I'm going to take the fact that I have a great job for granted. There are many points during my day in which boredom over comes me. Ask anybody (don't ask anybody), and they will tell you that coping with boredom is a very important part of a productive work day.

It's been researched by (insert reputable research team here) and they have proven that people who take regular breaks from work by going on facebook or twitter throughout the day get more work done. It's true. Look it up.

Following this logic, I am the most productive employee at The Tonight Show with my vaultmate in a close second. Therefore, I've decided to give you all a list of five things to do at work so you can be as productive as I.

FIVE WAYS TO BECOME UNBORED AT WORK

5. Pandora - www.pandora.com

For those of you who do not know, pandora is an internet radio station that generates playlists based on a song or artist of your choice. It's fantastic. You type in an amazing song (i.e. Billy Joel's Scene's from an Italian Restaurant) and BAM! A playlist featuring other songs from artists like Billy Joel (including a hefty dose of more Billy Joel). To put this in terms that Billy Joel would understand: It's like ordering a Rum and Coke from a bartender and having him follow that up with a 7&7 followed by a Long Island Iced Tea and so on, until you're red in the nose and bald. In either instance by the time you're done with this service, you'll find yourself wondering where the time has gone and if you can hold onto your pride and your adult diapers at the same time.

4. College Humor - www.collegehumor.com

I know I'm not in college any more, but this site still holds a warm place in my heart. Instead of looking at it's pictures with a wide eyed sense of "will I ever get to that place," I now look at down my nose wondering if children will ever learn. And yes, they will learn. They will learn that one day they will grow up and learn how to use household tools. And that duct tape is not a suitable way to attach a funnel to a hose (a steel clamp works much better).

Either way, this collection of well produced (usually) hilarious videos and sophomoric (brilliant) pictures will have you giggling throughout your work day. And also there are pictures of boobs. I don't care who you are. gay or straight, everyone appreciates a nice pair of eye magnets.

3. USA today crossword - Google: USA today Crossword (I can't do all the work for you)

Now I know what you're saying: "Ross, I'm not much of an intellectual, how will this occupy my time?" Well, clearly you're not an intellectual, otherwise you would know how this could keep you busy. But I am here to clear this up for you (you're welcome). Not only is a crossword a great way to keep sharp in your old age (anything over 25) but it makes people passing by your computer think you are smart. I don't care if you are googling every answer in there or even fitting different dirty words into the number of spaces you have available, anyone who passes by someone doing a crossword thinks "Man, that person is smarter than me. I should give them money." So if you want your coworkers to give you money. Do the crossword. Three down is Banana.

2. Clicker - www.clicker.com

This is actually something that some of you might find useful if you don't know about it already. Clicker is an awesome website that will guide you to anywhere on the Ultranet to find full episodes streaming of your favorite TV shows. 100% legal, 100% awesome. As someone who works in television and claims that watching television is part of his job description (if I'm slouched down in my chair watching How I Met Your Mother I'm on the clock and shouldn't be bothered) this site has been a great resource. Not only does it point you to network shows, but also popular web series that old people (again, anyone over 25) might not be cool enough to know about. Jump around on that for an hour or so. Pretend you're a Mormon and it's a trampoline (Fun Fact: Mormons love trampolines).

2b. "ThatLooks Like" YouTube Channel - http://www.youtube.com/user/thatlookslike

This won't occupy you long enough to make it its own number on the list, however it is worth a minute or two of your time. This is something I use for actual work whenever we get a celebrity guest on the show and I might want to throw in some of their earliest work. This channel has a bunch of celebrities' earliest appearances on television and in movies. Each of them more embarrassing than the next. My favorite so far: Jack Black as an over eager son of a religious woman. If you've ever wondered what a prep school student on Cocaine looked like, you should definitely check it out.



1. Island Paradise - www.facebook.com/islandparadise

This game kills me. I didn't want to get into it. In fact, I only did it as a favor to a friend so he could get more points and get a bigger island, but it's turned into a very relaxing way to relax on a deserted island by myself, all without leaving the office. Some things that bug me about the game are the plot holes. you start out on an island with half of a row boat and a tree on your beach, yet somehow, you're able to use gold to buy seeds for plants as well as trees and animals. Where the hell did the seeds come from? And also, if you were stranded on an island with half a rowboat, wouldn't you immediately use the tree to repair the wood in the rowboat and find civilization? Either way, it's fucking addicting. You know what? Forget I said anything, just stick with 5-2b.

Secret Santa

All the rumors about being in an office are true. Copiers are always overcrowded, people do talk about television around the water cooler, and Secret Santa is the greatest thing ever.

As the new guy I was a little hesitant at first but I decided to throw my name into the hat. This morning when I arrived, I found this:


I thought. Oh, wow, they knew I was Jewish. Then I looked inside and found these:Someone clearly knows that I'm a closeted Catholic.

I'm really looking forward to finding out what other perks working in an office has to offer. Big fingers crossed for the Chinese New Year. I hear that holiday is ridiculous.

You're Hired!

Hello Internet. You look lovely today. Well, you look decent. I see you didn't dress up, but what's new.

A quick update on something that deserves much more than that. I have been hired full time at the show which is absolutely fantastic. I share an office (which is literally an old bank vault) with another young employee and we've decided to turn our steel (eventual) grave into a 70s love nest. That way, when the vault door accidentally closes on us. We will find great solitude in the glowing light of the lava lamp as our bodies slowly die from oxygen deprovation.

In said scenario. I will try to get one last entry online with my last will and testament. Be aware, if I try to leave anything to Graham, that is solely the oxygen depravation talking. I will leave him with nothing, and if possible, I would like him to be burried alive alongside my body. He would want it that way. Trust me.

Also, everyone here has different things on their desk to personalize their workspace. Write in the comments below what I should do to personalize my office (i.e what kinds of pictures, movie posters, newspaper clippings, you know, office stuff).

That's all for now,

Ross

Guess who's back

Boy, has it been a WHILE. Yes, it has, and I apologize. I apologize for misleading you. By not blogging over the past month (I rounded down) I have misled my readers making them think I was off being productive. When instead I was off being merely ductive.

Okay, that's a lie, I've been extremely productive. So eat that, all you out there who think that you can't work in a town that isn't hiring. I've been making my own work.

Upon leaving my internship, I called up my friend Brett. That conversation went something like this:

(Reenactment)
Brett: Hello?

Ross: Bro Lemia, what's going on?

Brett: Hey, not much.

Ross: Want to make the best web series the world has ever seen?

Brett: Sure! With our powers combined...

Ross: We can summon earth's greatest champion...

Brett and Ross put their rings together

CAPTAIN PLANET!

Captain Planet: Oh, you know, I would you guys. But I have this thing I gotta go to. Good luck.

Captain Planet leaves.

Ross: That guy was a dick.

Brett: And how!

Either way, we started making our Shitty Roommate webisodes and have gotten great responses. I'll post my favorite one here and let you (the reader) navigate the clues to find the rest of them. Just think of it as National Treasure but without having to put up with the idea that Nicholas Cage knows anything about American history.



Enjoy that? Good, I'm glad.

See Ross? It wasn't that hard. It took you like 7 minutes to update this thing. Let's vow to never abandon these fine readers again (until the next time you abandon these fine readers) Agreed? Good.

That's all for now. Keep checking those links and subscribe to my Twitter should you want more Ross in smaller doses.

www.twitter.com/therosseverett

I love you all (most of you)

~Ross

My internship has come to a close. After weeks and weeks of unpaid service to the men and women of the Tonight Show staff, I left with hearty handshakes and great contacts. All of which will be used toward getting me a job.

On my last day, as was fitting, I had the opportunity to watch the taping of the show due to a less than full studio audience that needed filling. As luck would have it, I got another opportunity to be on the television show that most critics are calling "what show?"

Check me out in the background of this segment of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien proudly sporting my University of Arizona T-shirt.

NEW VIDEO POSTED

Hey everybody. My friend Brett (Hi Brett!) and I made a new video in our Shitty Roommate series. We also have some deleted scenes and thanks to Brett's boyfriend Glen (Hi Glen!) a behind the scenes look at what it's like making a video with Ross and Brett! Enjoy!





The Video (I show some nice butt crack in the thumbnail):







The Deleted Scenes:









The Behind the Scenes:










The Prequel:

My First Review

Allright everyone (both of you), every performer, actor, comedian, whatever, always remembers their first review. Here is mine:

Goldstein Reviews

Sure, it's a friend's blog. Sure, he only has 30 something followers, but that's about 21 more than me so I'm counting it dammit!

Thanks Will.

Proof is in the Punchline

APPARENTLY, everyone has had this similar revelation. This, "Now's the time!" attitude has caught wildfire amongst all of the graduating class of 2009. I want to take this opportunity to say: back off. Okay? This was my revelation. You can't have it.

I'm going to claim this motivation as my own by illustrating before you now a sketch. That I will write straight into my blog. Feel free to film your version of it and post a link to it in the comments.

Character List
Craig
Dale

Craig approaches Dale's desk holding some papers

Craig: Hey Dale, here's the Yamamoto report.

Dale: Great. Thank you.

Craig: No problem.

Craig starts to walk away.

Dale: Wait, Craig. This isn't the Yamomoto report.

Craig: It's not?

Dale: No. (reading from the page) "Dearest Dale, I've been watching you from afar for a while now-"

Craig: Yeah, that's the Yamomoto report.

Dale: I don't think so (reading more) "often times I picture you and I together in the bahamas"

Craig: Yeah, like buddies-

Dale: "licking whipped cream off of each others' sandy bodies-" It says nothing in here about Yamomoto.

Craig: You sure? Check the next page.

Dale: "-find myself drawing blood just to make sure I can still feel-" Yeah, this is definitely not the report. It seems like this is a love letter you've written to me. Frankly Craig, I'm disturbed

Craig: That's ridiculous. Look at the graphs.

Dale: (flipping pages) These aren't graphs, they're just pictures you drew of you and I engaging in gratuitous sex acts.

Craig: No, that line right there illustrates the increase in profits from the account last year.

Dale: You drew an arrow toward it and labeled it "time spent crying alone"

Craig: Dale, do you have any idea how ridiculous this sounds. Why would I hand you a "letter" that I "wrote to you" about our "overwhelming love" that implies that I would "end both our lives" if you didn't "reciprocate immediately by "winking twice"?

Craig waits.

Craig: Was that a wink?-

Dale: No it was not a wink! And Craig, that part about the winking isn't even in here.

Craig: It's not?

Dale: No, it's not.

Craig: Oh.

Beat

Craig: Here's the Peterson Report.

END

So your assignment is to film this and post it online. My only request is that you put a link to my blog in your sidebar issuing the challenge to other users on the interwebs.

HAPPY FILMING!

~Ross

Starting...NOW! Starting NOW. Okay, NOW.

I'm going to start now. Up until now was merely procrastination that I'll credit to my transition into life in Los Angeles. Right now you're saying "But Ross, you've been in LA four months and you're just now ending your transitional stage?"

First of all, back off. That's quite a bold thing to say to someone that you've just met, and you don't wear it well. Second of all, you're right. It did take a while; and it's still not entirely over as I am still interning and don't even have a steady job yet. What I have figured out is how I am going to spend my free time. Instead of waking up at 1 pm on days that I do not have work, staying in my boxers until 5 pm checking my fantasy football line-up (he's lying mom, don't believe a word he says), I am going to wake up at 10 and BE PRODUCTIVE.

I don't mean to slight what I've been doing, (don't get me wrong, my fantasy football stats are family friends with Incredible) but I'm going to do it BETTER.

So, in short, keep your eyes open or my career is going to slap you across the face.

I had a wonderful opportunity recently to get some head shots taken in exchange for letting a cosmetology student put makeup on me. Now, not only do I have a wonderful portfolio of
professional pictures, but I also have less hair between my eyebrows (yes, it hurt).

I've narrowed my favorites down to these three:




Apparently this one isn't showing up so here is a link to it



So now I need your help to make the final decision.

Vote in poll section in the sidebar ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

I'm a celebrity, get me into here

Every now and again you experience something in life that you know you will never forget. Last night was one of those times.

My friend David is down in LA for the long weekend and to celebrate we decided to splurge on some good Sushi at Katsu-ya. In between dining on the best baked crab hand rolls and onion strip ahi that I've ever had, he mentioned that he'd never been to this restaurant without seeing a celebrity. This suprised me due to it's quaint atmosphere, and crowded seating. Don't let this sentence fool you I'm posting this on my blog, not Yelp. Back to my story:

As we're leaving, we're talking to each other in front of the valet when we see a bright flash coming from the side. We turn to look and there is a lonely man with a camera.

Did you really just take a picture of us?

He goes on to explain that he's sorry and that he left his good flash at home and had to use this one for the day. David asked if he thought we were celebrities, and I specified asking which one of us he thought was the celebrity.

When the man didn't know, David revealed that he was Matthew Broderick. Following suite, I admitted to being Ryan Reynolds and complimented the paparazzo on his keen eye in spotting us.

Now, before I go on, this is what my friend David looks like next to Matthew Broderick:



And this is me next to Ryan Reynolds:


The clearly clueless photographer then proceeded to question us regarding our future projects which we declined to talk about. He then asked us to pose for a few more to which we gladly obliged.

When the valet pulled up with my (very dirty) 2007 Toyota Camry, the now completely oblivious papparazzo asked if we would pose getting into my car. Again, we were generous enough to give him a few more glamor shots of these two superstars jumping in to their sweet ride.

As we drove away in hysterics we imagined this poor guy proudly showing these pictures to his boss, getting fired for wasting his time, returning to his mother's basement, and resuming his marathon of old MASH episodes.

On the plus side, I look like I might be someone important; which means I am dressing for the job I want, not the job I have.

Eh, I could be doing worse

My High School decided it was time to check up on how I'm doing in life (am I someone they are soon going to solicit for money?) and asked to interview me for their newsletter. The following is my self evaluation of life up to this point:

Tell us about how your experience at JCHS supported your experience at the University of Arizona

• How did JCHS prepare you?

JCHS allowed me to create my own true personal identity that I found to be incredibly beneficial when diving into a larger community. Remembering back to my public middle school (a feat that as it gets harder reminds me I'm getting older), I felt a need to be someone that I was not in order to gain the approval of those around me. At JCHS the idea was that you were cool for the things that made you an individual, as opposed to those aspects out-casting you. My four years in this kind of a community allowed me to embrace my quirks and individual attributes and become comfortable in my own skin. This helped tremendously when transferring back into a more mainstream student community as the more matured versions of my middle school classmates found individuality to be intriguing rather than a cause for isolation.

• Were there specific classes/teachers that prepared you for areas/aspects of your college education? A teacher who’s guidance continues to help you?

Most of the teachers that taught me at JCHS are gone now and I only hope that the new faculty carries the same spirit as the ones I had the good fortune to be taught by. Patrick Bruno was my math teacher and he did such a good job, that I never had to take another math class again (I'm pretty sure that was not his intended goal for me as a student, though). He was also extremely funny and incorporated his own love for sports and Rhode Island and, of course, Rhode Island based sports, into his lessons creating a quirky and fun classroom atmosphere.

I know Dylan Russel is still around and she had a great impact on me. I was always really interested in theater at JCHS and there was no curriculum for the Arts other than the after school electives. During my senior year, I had four free periods, and while I had filled all of my basic requirements, was forced to find an elective. Since none of the offered electives interested me, Dylan helped me construct a play writing independent study that taught me about structure in play writing which, later, heavily influenced the screen writing that I am doing now. I would later go on to construct a television specific screen writing course with a professor at the University of Arizona.

• Did you feel well-prepared?

My education at JCHS definitely prepared me for the university I attended. I know that when people think of the University of Arizona, the first thing that pops into everyone's mind is "prestigious" or "reach-school" and sometimes even "Harvard of the Southwest" but I assure you the school is as easy or as hard as you make it.

• How did your Jewish education help/support you at U of A?

To be honest, the ways it helped me in school were miniscule. I took a Judaic Studies class here and there and was able to keep up with professors during their discussions on Martin Buber's "I, Thou" work; but looking back the Jewish education from JCHS really helped me in my way of critical thinking out of the classroom much more.

• Have you been able to draw upon your Jewish studies education?

Only in satirical ways. I got very involved in my school's television station and produced/starred in a show where I interviewed students around campus about events. During one of my interviews a girl said "Why is this day different from every other day" and my response was "Exactly, Mah nishtanah halilah hazeh m'kol haleilot?" She was very confused, and it didn't make the final cut, but I got quite a kick out of it.

• How did you adjust to being a member of a larger community of students?

I've always been a social person and I was thrilled to have a larger community of people to interact with. I joined a fraternity, I went to hillel every now and again, and joined up with the television station as well as an improv/sketch comedy troupe. The best advice I have is to get involved with smaller niche clubs and groups. You'll meet people with similar interests and be able to find a smaller community amongst a giant one.

Tell us about your extra-curricular activities at U of A

• What was “Surviving Arizona”?

Aha, someone did their research. Very nice. Surviving Arizona with Ross and Steve was a TV show on University of Arizona Television (UATV) helping students survive their 4 - 7 years at the University of Arizona. The show consisted of interviews and highlights of some of the cool things happening around campus (i.e. home football games and The Phoenix Suns training camp) as well as human interest pieces (Creating outlandish Halloween costumes). Mostly it was just me and my friends filming what we thought was funny and interesting and having the opportunity to broadcast it to the student body.

• What was the inspiration – how’d you get the idea? (Does this tie at all to your JCHS education?)

Surviving Arizona spawned from a bad audition my friend Steve had to be the sports anchor for the student television station. They thought he was so funny, while they couldn't give him the position, they asked him to make short segments to air on their news program. He came to me, as he knew of my interest in television due to a TV script I was working on and asked for my help. Our first segment was about a giant Pro-Life Abortion display on the U of A mall that was very controversial. We spent the day interviewing students and the exhibits facilitators about the display as well as playing some word association games and playfully teasing their ignorance on the subject. It was horribly offensive and didn't air, but the general manager of the station thought we were very funny together and said if we could tone it down we could have our own show.

• Tell us about working on the Colbert Report – how did that come about?

The Colbert Report internship came about through me having to buckle down and find out what I was truly interested in. I spoke with one of my advisers regarding my love of comedy and my love of television and she was able to direct me to an alum who worked at The Colbert Report to give me better advice than she was able to. After a few emails back and forth he had me send him my resume and I got a call for an interview a few weeks later.

I worked on the show during the summer of 2008 and loved every second of it. I got to see how every aspect of the show was run. I even got the opportunity to work with the writers which resulted in me getting a joke on the show.

• What did you do? What did you learn? (again – possible to tie anything back to JCHS?)

The internship allowed me to rotate through all the departments of the show. Initially I was a post intern on Mondays and a script intern on Wednesdays. Eventually, my intern coordinator allowed me to work with the graphics department as well as the writers, due to my incessant begging and perfection of the sad puppy eyes (really it was just persistent and respectful requesting, but it lacks a certain imagery that I want to convey).

I learned everything on that show, from how the schedule allows their to be a brand new show every day, to how to order more Fresca for the writers' fridge. Learning all this allowed me to return to the University of Arizona and create my own version of the Colbert Report entitled "The Spin Zone" (as well as stock my house with an overwhelming amount of Fresca). Here is a link to some of the episodes.

The Spin Zone Episode 2 from Ross Everett on Vimeo.

Life after U of A

• Where are you now?

As I write this, I am sitting at my cubicle at The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. I am living in Los Angeles literally right across the street from Rabbi Harwitz's old place when he lived down here. Even though it was only supposed to be a summer internship, I'm sticking around a little while longer in hopes of a job opening up in this terrible economy.

• What are you doing? What are your passions?

I am doing everything I can right now to have fun. I started taking Improv classes at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in Los Angeles which has been an amazing use of my time. I've been able to meet a ton of people in the area with similar interests to mine (see how that works everywhere?). I've also been writing in my spare time. I have two blogs: one that I write as myself about my adventures in LA that I've cleverly titled "The Chronicles of my rise to power and descent into infamy" and another that I write in a "bro-ed out" character to refine the skill of writing in a voice other than my own. I've also had some meetings regarding scripts I've written (one of them co-written by fellow JCHS alum Andrew Ross-Perry) regarding getting jobs as a writers assistant on a television show in the future.

I enjoy making short videos for the internet just for fun with friends. It's a great way to exercise my writing, acting, and producing skills at the same time.

• Tell us about the Conan show – what do you do there? How does this fit into your journey so far?

I am an intern in the Clips and Clearances department, which basically means I assist the clips researcher in finding and getting legal clearance for any clip used on the show whether it be a YouTube clip or a clip from an actor's upcoming film. I would go into specifics but I'd rather the mystery glorify what I do rather than the truth nullify it.

Working here gives me the opportunity to be on the Universal Studios lot which is worlds of fun, as well as gives me large amounts of free time to work on writing and other side projects I might have going on. It's been full of amazing opportunities. The time that stands out the most was during my second month of interning, I was in the lobby changing out of a giant NBC Peacock costume (different story) when the costume designer pointed at me and said "I can make him into a cop in two minutes." Next thing I knew I was playing a cop in a sketch on the Tonight Show. My family was very proud of me. My mom said "You did great- you need a haircut." One breath.

• How do you see yourself as a member of the greater Jewish community?

It's Los Angeles. How can you not be? Well, first and foremost, I live in the most Jewish area of Los Angeles and everything closes on Shabbat. I really find myself bonding strongly with the other Jewish people in the area. I don't really know why; but it could be that we all have the same things to kvetch about and have similar relationships with our overbearing mothers (just kidding Mom; please keep sending money). But in all seriousness I identify myself as a Jew and in that I find that I will always be a part of the Jewish community.

• Do you practice Tikkun Olam in your daily life?

I'm sure I do, but it's so ingrained in me as a person that I can't recall certain instances. I just try to be a good citizen of the world and in that I practice Tikkun Olam. I also pick up trash.

What’s next for you?

• Next year?

Ah, the big question. I have no idea. I could still be working here, or I could be writing on the side of a waiting job. Who knows. I hope to have a steady job with some nice benefits and a fantasy football league, but I would settle for anything that allows me to keep on doing what I'm doing.

• Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten?

In five years I'm pretty sure I'll still be down here in LA as everything pertaining to the entertainment industry is really going on down here. I would love to be working on a very funny television show for a top rated network so if you know anybody who needs a hard working, passionate, young nice Jewish boy, please let me know. This feels like a J-Date ad all of a sudden. I'm a Sagittarius.

In ten years I would love to be able to move back to the bay area and be able to work from there. There is a growing presence of the entertainment industry up in SF so it's plausible. I would also like to be married or close to it. Now it's definitely a J-Date ad.

First Day

Today is the first day of school. Not for me, but for the 35,000 undergrad students and 5,000 graduate students at the University of Arizona. I am no longer part of your population. So for me, today is just Monday.

Today is actually my first not first day of school. And while I am still interning at the same show I was before as the other interns around me slowly disappear in a Stand By Me, walking along the tracks kind of way, I also see what most of them are going back to.

Am I out of college long enough to be nostalgic? Already once or twice I've caught myself muttering "When I was in college-" which is the young adult equivalent of "back in my day." Things really haven't changed that much. If you go to Tucson, Arizona, you will still find a batch of newly turned 21 year-olds and a sprinkling of 20 year-olds with compensating good posture at Champs on a Tuesday night. The football team will still suck, and the basketball team will still be under performing. Freshman girls will still be partying at fraternities while getting hit on by the senior who hasn't yet moved on.

So today is the first day of school; and while I miss returning to the familiar, I know that next year, on my next first day of not school, I'll look back at today with a similar sentiment. I'll make sweeping (possibly untrue) generalizations about my days as an intern and those I encountered with great nostalgia. And when I look back at pictures, I'll say I can't believe I ever thought that looked cool.

But I do look cool.

~Ross

An Affinity for Affinity

Minority is a bad word. Diversity is not.

I had the opportunity to assist in NBC Universal's NBC Unified program which, to define it simply, consists of a skimming along the top of the five affinity groups associated with NBCU. It was a who's who of gay, female, Asian, Hispanic, and black executives all in the same place for one reason. To give me a job.

I wish.

In reality, they were there to promote and encourage diversity in the workplace. Something that a sheltered white boy like myself didn't have the pleasure of growing up with.

I had a black friend once. His name was D'Angelo and he spoke in ebonics. It was from him that I first learned the "words" 'coo' and 'aint'. Subsequently, that's also when I learned from my parents what a double negative was; and that when I said "I ain't gonna eat no broccoli" I was actually declaring that, yes, I was indeed going to eat some broccoli.

Even though D'Angelo lived in one of the richest suburbs of San Francisco, he was still different from the rest of his classmates; less by the color of his skin than by his culture. When his family moved out of our white bread town, that was the last of my social encounters with a black person.

Also, I realized that for the first time in my life, I have a gay friend (HEY BRETT!). I could launch into a story about how even though I am from the San Francisco Bay Area, I was never exposed to a homosexual peer (nor was a homosexual peer ever exposed in front of me), rather I will assume that you get the point that I was fairly sheltered in my white washed suburban childhood.

And it wasn't until I went to the University of Arizona that I was introduced to the world of a minority and exclusion of my own at the Hispanic film festival. Films solely consisting of Hispanic themes, actors, and audiences isolated me from the culture rather than introducing me to it. Feeling out of place, my emotions wandered toward contempt. Being self-aware (a vice given to me by my two therapist parents) I acknowledged these feelings and opened my eyes for the first time that there might be some disdain directed at the Caucasian culture that this country clings to.

After working this event and sitting in on some of the discussions regarding diversity within a company, I realize that many of the same principles should be instated in my everyday life. First and foremost, we do not live in my white washed suburban hometown anymore, even Larkspur, California has seen an influx of other cultures, races and creeds. Second of all: this is not a bad thing. While we may choose to live in our own sheltered communities, we are all a part of a bigger global community. It is the result of an inability to communicate and understand other cultures that breeds contempt.

The way to fix this is not to hold exclusive events for one group, but rather trickle in diversity. Having an all Hispanic film festival is not diverse, nor does it make up for a lack of Hispanic presence in American culture. It merely creates a separation between the current culture of this country and the Hispanics within it leaving both Hispanics and Caucasians feeling threatened.

And as for "diversity" programs at companies that solely target minorities, this is also not diversity as diversity would also include Caucasians not exclude them because they are presently the majority.

In summation, please accept me into your diverse writer's program even though I am a white Jewish male in the entertainment industry.

Thank you,

Ross Bercun

What to expect

First let me say that if you have any expectations for this blog, then you're going to be greatly let down; and then skyrocketed into space to surpass all your previous expectations to such a degree that your head, heart and genitals will surely explode.

From here I will begin to tell you my life and observations as I see it. From the perspective of a white Jewish guy in Hollywood trying to play the minority card. From the mind of an offspring of two therapists. From the upbringing of a sheltered upper middle class American, thrust into a world that could care less about his expectations.

There. Now that I've set the bar impossibly high, let us begin.